When I cook

When I cook, there is a method. It’s a tried and true method and I refuse to deviate.

The 2 major points in this method of mine?

1. Clean as you go

2. Follow the recipe when using one

Now the kitchen, as I’ve said before is MINE! You MAY be able to use it on the odd occasion, if I’m feeling particulalry bevevolent, but you WILL ask permission BEFORE you even touch one little thing in MY kitchen.

Bodily harm may be the outcome whould you be foolhardy enough to even attempt using MY kitchen before asking, and in fact there are still a few missing bodies from those silly enough to think I wouldn’t know.

Yes people, I KNOW when someone has been using MY kitchen. I come close to measuring the difference between the salt and pepper grinders on the bench. Do you really think I’m NOT going to know?

So. The first thing I do when I’m going to cook, is fill the kitchen sink with hot soapy water. Next in line is the oven if required. it will be lit and set to the desired temperature in order to be ready when it’s needed.

Having done this, the ingredients are next, all lined up on the bench, in whatever order they are required to be added. They look ever so cute, all lined up like little ducks. Does my little OCD heart good to see them so too.

If I’m required to do a mixture of spices, or the garlic and onion need to be sweated in a pan, they will be dutifully chopped, diced, sliced or whatever I need to do to them and they are then placed in a bowl. At this point the knife used will be washed and dried with ever the present tea towel on my shoulder. The board is also washed down and dried in case it’s needed again at a later point. The ingredients already used are put back where I got them from if it’s spices or minced garlic, perhaps ginger, or even sugar.

Please note, the bowl with said onions, garlic, ginger, whatever is needed, is put next to the stove in readiness for the cooking to begin. Why would you out it anywhere else? The stove is where you cook!

Any ingredients that need to be mixed are, and this bowl goes next to the other on the bench, beside the stove.

Once all ingredients that need preparation are done, the pan will be oiled and heated in rediness for the real fun.

Ingredients are added in the order whatever recipe I’m using dictates.

As bowls or plates are emptied they go straight into the sink in readiness to be washed. Little scrubbing once you’re done that way.

Once all is done and merrily simmering or baking or whatever, then you do the dishes. You wash, dry and put them away in the relevant place in the kitchen. There will NOT be one thing NOT as I found it, right down to the salt and pepper. Job done. Easy!

Now, there is a reason for the method. Recipes are created in a certain order. If that order wasn’t important, they’d all run one after the other as opposed to in a list or numbered would they not?

Why you would want to do it any other way is beyond me! It drives me NUTS when people are all over the place like a mad womans shit! Follow the damned method! It’s not frigging brain surgery. It’s A B C, 1 2 3…simple!

It’s like sport. If it wasn’t important, they wouldn’t keep score right?

Now. When I’m in the mood and ALLOW you to use MY kitchen, you WILL do it my way, or you WILL fuck of out of my kitchen.

This is NOT negotiable. This is MY kitchen, and you will do it MY way.

You have a problem with that? 2 options.

Go away

or

I have LOTS of sharp knives that I CAN and WILL use.

See. No arguments. Easy

I hate that!

There many little things that upset/annoy/niggle me. I won’t list them all otherwise I’ll still be here at midnight, so I’ll only list the main ones:

Crumbs. Why, why oh why can people not wipe them up??? Rocket science it is not people!

Throwing a towel over the rail rather than folding and placing it. Don’t they know the edges NEED to be level?

Not rinsing a teaspoon and/or coffee cup, and putting in the drainer. Perhaps I should make them lick it clean once it goes all sticky and feral?

Dropping dirty clothes on the floor. They’d be in for a shock in my house when I tell them I wash in the laundry not the bedroom wouldn’t they? Particularly when they find they have no clean clothes!

Rings on the coffee table due to lack of using a coaster. Again, maybe I should make them lick it clean once it’s hard and crusty?

Leaving the keyboard drawer out after using the computer. Don’t they realise a person could crack a bone on that sharp edge? I’m here to tell you if I crack one of my bones because of your inability to roll a drawer in, I’m cracking more than one of yours, that I promise you!!

Not putting the X Box controller back where they found it. If they can manage to find it in there, surely it’s quite a simple exercise to reverse the process. Again, rocket science it is not!

Now you may ask why it is, these have been singled out?

Because in the last week (with the exception of the dirty washing one) each and every one of them has occurred in this house. Some have been MSO, others have been visitors.

The world is going mad and I’m a close 2nd I tell you! Perhaps a full moon is near? I’m off to check the calendar

Party poooper?

So I survived a birthday slumber party with several eight and nine year old little girls over this past weekend. Let me just say first off, I quit smoking in January and have rarely craved a shmoke. I dearly wanted one at 6AM this morning as they woke me up screaming and running through the house.

I knew that the girls would be in and out, in and out all day/night long so I didn’t make the house spotless before they came over. Yeah, it was clean. But, it coulda been cleaner, and I wasn’t too afraid knowing that my floors weren’t mopped, and the child’s room wasn’t spotless, and so on. I knew that once they left, I’d have the opportunity to fix and clean everything.

And I didn’t set any rules. No, I didn’t want to throw a bunch of rules at the girls, and expect them to actually listen. I didn’t want to sound like an old, biddy so I let them do what they wanted. Oh my freaking gosh . . . a mad house, I was in a freaking mad house.

I was literally going, OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG .. ! Oh – My – FREAKING – Gosh! Look at my floor! Look at my couch! Look at my kitchen! Oh my poor poor kitchen!!! Don’t worry cabinets, they won’t slam you shut much longer. No, they’re parents will pick them up soon. Oh, ‘fridgerator, don’t cry. The spilled milk on your shelves can be cleaned up. Oh there, there .. let me get it!

I cringed. And I cussed under my breath. I held my breath. I looked away, and covered my eyes. I peeked through my fingers and saw them pillow fighting with my couch cushions, and I was like ohhhh myyyy freeeeaking goshhhh!!

I finally got them all to settle down and eat some breakfast. Cake and ice cream for breakfast, all around! I sugared them up and sent their little butts home. And then I got to cleaning! And I cleaned. And I smiled. And I loved every minute of it.

Vacuum woes

I try to vacuum my house every day, so I was quite heartbroken when my vacuum decided to crap out on me. It was a very reliable vacuum, too. I’ve had it almost 7 years and it’s never given me an ounce of trouble. But gradually, it just started going downhill, not wanting to suck and clean properlly. I was not going to have that, either!

So it farted out, which meant I had a decision to make since buying a new vacuum is not really in my budget .. electricity for the month or a new vacuum. Which one – which one. It was an incredibly hard decision to make, but in the end, I made the ultimate decision of getting a vacuum. I just gotta figure out how I’m going to make use of it in the dark *sigh*

Online banking

A few years ago, my bank account was totally wiped out. I don’t know who did it. I don’t know why. All I know is that I went to the ATM one morning, and I was 500 bones in the red. The bastid had taken all of my money, plus some. I don’t have much to begin with, so when someone stole my money, I was completely heartbroken. I was devistated. I was angry. I was scared.

After many phone calls, trips to my local bank, and waiting patiently for two weeks, my money was back in my account. I was relieved, somewhat.

That was a few years ago. To this day, I still check my online banking at least ten times a day. TEN times. A day. Sometimes more, if it’s been stressful. I have to check it. I have to make sure that nobody is trying to take my money. I have to make sure that if something changes, I know then and there what it is, why it changed, and how much money is left. I never want to be in the situation I was in ever again.

:: :: :: Red :: :: ::

Going nuts here

I think I’m losing the plot!

The only thing I asked the other girls not to do was muck with the theme here at OCD’s, and I have no doubt in my mind they haven’t (that’s just in case anyone visiting thinks I’m suggesting otherwise!!) I’m very particular about how the place looks. It’s got to be just SO. Stands to reason I guess!

Anyhow, my header keeps disappearing! But only off and on!

PEEK A BOO! It’s here.

VOILA! It’s gone!

4 times in the last 24 hours I’ve had to redo it. I’ve sent W/press support an email asking what’s going on.

In the meantime, if you visit and the place isn’t up to it’s usual standard, I apologise in advance. We’ll have it back to normal as soon as possible.
UPDATE: It would seem the gremlins were W/press ones, but the problem has been fixed.
I’m feeling a little less like I should be locked up now!

Wax On, Wax Off

 

It’s funny how I expect people to just tolerate my OCD and love it, and me, but sometimes it’s hard to tolerate from others.  In some cases anyway.

Here’s the thing.

There’s a guy that sits behind me at work.  Something of a strange duck you could say.  Very friendly though, you almost CAN’T make fun of him because he’s so nice.  He’s very annoying though.  He is always butting into conversations, pretending to understand inside jokes.  Kinda like that guy that laughs at the joke after everyone else is finished.

I can tolerate all those things though, and would, if there was just one thing that he would stop:  The Mr. Myagi handrub.

For those of you who have never seen the movie, The Karate Kid, Pat Morita plays Mr. Myagi, an older Japanese guru of karate and all around funny quirky guy. 

Towards the end of the movie, the bad guys, the Kobra Kahn, and their horrible sensei, do an illegal move on Mr, Myagi’s star pupil, Daniel, (The Karate Kid) and hurt his knee real bad.  In the training room, Mr. Myagi is going to work his magic on the knee to bring Daniel back into the final round to beat the Kobra Kahn and win the championship.  His move starts with a loud clapping of his hands and then he FURIOUSLY rubs them together real fast, like he’s warming them up. 

This guy behind me does this hand clapping/rubbing furiously move about 5,000 times a day.  No shit.  It is immediately followed by a deep breath and him rubbing his hands on his pants.  It’s a wonder he has skin left, I shit you not. 

The LAST thing one person afflicted with OCD needs is another OCD afflicted person close by.  Because I notice him doing this almost every time, I have to count how many times he does it.  So, it kinda goes like this:

Guy :rubbing hands together

Me: *mumbling* one

Guy: rubbing hands together

Me: *mumbling* two

This goes on ALL day.  Not only that, but the girls that sit by me know that this seriously drives me mad so they do it too, which throws my count off.  Can you see the frustration I’m feeling here?? If i’m on the phone or go away from my desk, that throws my count off too.  This means the next time I hear it, I have to start over.

Days he is out are truly happy days for me.  My brain, and OCD, get a rest.

A little down time

Okay, so I threw my back out the other day causing me to be bed-ridden most of the weekend *ughhh!* which in turn made my house completely and totally unruly. It was a mess, noone picked up after themselves. The dishes were piling up. There were empty glasses in the living room. Dirty clothes were spewed everywhere. The dog was starving and becoming quickly dehydrated. I was not happy.

But then . . then, the husband decided he wanted “to help”. He did laundry. He cleaned the kitchen. He attempted to fold my towels. And he rearranged the bathroom towels. And he put dishes up where they don’t belong. And he folded my towels! And he swept the kitchen floor the wrong way. And he didn’t pick up the poop off the floor. And he folded the towels! And he left wet laundry in the washer. And he gave the dog too much water *yes, he can have TOO much* And and .. and he folded my towels!!!

I understand he was trying to help, but he wasn’t helping. Once I’m up and running again *which I’m hoping is tomorrow!!* I’ll have to redo everything. Until then I’ll just wince and cringe at everything he touches.

:: :: :: Red :: :: ::

The exercise wheel

I’ve spent several months enjoying the fact that I’m not exercising. When I’m not in exercise mode, there’s one less thing to obsess about. But it’s getting close to the time when I need to start again, and when that happens, things get ugly. It starts out with a leisurely 30 minute walk – not too fast, gotta work the muscles slowly ya know, so they don’t get too sore and I don’t end up screwing with my knee and my foot. After a week of this, I notice that I’ve started timing stuff. Did I do a mile in at least 15 minutes? Did I start exactly at 3:45 and end exactly at 4:15? Now let’s add some weight work after the 30 minute walk. Did I do every rep perfectly? Arms and abs on Tuesday. Legs on Thursday. Fridays off. No variations are allowed. Pretty soon I’m up to a 45 minute walk every day (3 miles, no more no less) and ending at 4:30 sharp. When I start adding some jogging during my walk, I get even more obsessive. Did I add 10 more minutes of running per session each each week? Is my knee OK? When the knee gets really sore I can’t run, then I obsess over the fact I’m not doing what I’m “supposed” to do. The inevitible disappointment and anxiety sets in.

Then there’s the record-keeping. Spreadsheets and graphs to keep, with steady progress noted. Since I’m bound to be trying to lose weight too, there has to be calorie and fat counts every day and measurements taken every week. Again, steady progress shown on the graph means I’m a success. Any plateau or backsliding means failure and causes anxiety and depression.

This is not the way I want my life to be. I’ve tried to take a much more holistic and less obsessive approach to exercise, but I can’t seem to help ritualizing everything. Ken doesn’t treat his exercise this way – he gets his workout done and if it’s not a good one, he just tries again the next day. It doesn’t faze him, he accepts it. If he misses his workout time, he just does it at another time. ANOTHER TIME. I don’t know how he does it. If I don’t adhere to my schedule, the whole rest of the day gets thrown off.

After about 4 months of this regimen, I’m exhausted and frazzled. I throw in the towel and spend my time after work reading a book instead of exercising, and feeling much more relaxed and content. My weight is regained and my muscles go slack. I think about how I should be exercising, but I know what will happen…

I am unable to pass by….

I am unable to pass the copy machine at work without getting rid of the papers sitting on them.  No, I’m not nosy, it’s just that they DON’T belong there.  There they sit all “willy nilly” and it drives me nutz!

If I am at my workstation and print something out (personal or otherwise) I get off my duff and pick it up.

But 9 times out of 10, I walk by the printer and there are usually a handful of miscellaneous papers that just need to BE GONE.  It makes me very uneasy!  There is only one person that knows about this and she just chuckles and I riffle through the papers and find their proper places

Does this one get you too?