Party poooper?

So I survived a birthday slumber party with several eight and nine year old little girls over this past weekend. Let me just say first off, I quit smoking in January and have rarely craved a shmoke. I dearly wanted one at 6AM this morning as they woke me up screaming and running through the house.

I knew that the girls would be in and out, in and out all day/night long so I didn’t make the house spotless before they came over. Yeah, it was clean. But, it coulda been cleaner, and I wasn’t too afraid knowing that my floors weren’t mopped, and the child’s room wasn’t spotless, and so on. I knew that once they left, I’d have the opportunity to fix and clean everything.

And I didn’t set any rules. No, I didn’t want to throw a bunch of rules at the girls, and expect them to actually listen. I didn’t want to sound like an old, biddy so I let them do what they wanted. Oh my freaking gosh . . . a mad house, I was in a freaking mad house.

I was literally going, OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG .. ! Oh – My – FREAKING – Gosh! Look at my floor! Look at my couch! Look at my kitchen! Oh my poor poor kitchen!!! Don’t worry cabinets, they won’t slam you shut much longer. No, they’re parents will pick them up soon. Oh, ‘fridgerator, don’t cry. The spilled milk on your shelves can be cleaned up. Oh there, there .. let me get it!

I cringed. And I cussed under my breath. I held my breath. I looked away, and covered my eyes. I peeked through my fingers and saw them pillow fighting with my couch cushions, and I was like ohhhh myyyy freeeeaking goshhhh!!

I finally got them all to settle down and eat some breakfast. Cake and ice cream for breakfast, all around! I sugared them up and sent their little butts home. And then I got to cleaning! And I cleaned. And I smiled. And I loved every minute of it.

An OCD he’s not, God love him!

Washing day here. Great day for it. Lots of sunshine and warmth, bit of a breeze happening. All adds up to perfection for clothes and linen.
Nothing like the smell of sunshine and the breeze in your freshly washed clothes, sheets and towels.
Anyhow, I’ve just gone to hang mine out, in my own inimitable manner, and my SO said he would give me a hand.
Now, I was good! I suppressed the small shiver that threatened to engulf me! I thought it was a sweet offer!
I’m not an ungrateful person, and part of the reason I love this man is because of things like this. He’s always more than willing to help where he can, so being the nice person I am, my only reaction was to say thank you sweetheart, that would be nice.
As we were doing the task (with me only having to change a FEW little things…eg, peg colours were wrong, towels only had 4 pegs instead of 5, little things like that) I told him about my hanging the washing post and that the other girls wanted me to post photos once I got a USB cable. Following is the (very) short conversation regarding same:

HIM: “Hmmm…guess I won’t be helping that weekend then?”
ME: “Why darl?”
HIM: “Cos there’s your way and God f**king help me!!”

And still, I love him regardless of the blood he very inconsiderately left on the verndah and tiles as he ran for bandages!

Vacuum woes

I try to vacuum my house every day, so I was quite heartbroken when my vacuum decided to crap out on me. It was a very reliable vacuum, too. I’ve had it almost 7 years and it’s never given me an ounce of trouble. But gradually, it just started going downhill, not wanting to suck and clean properlly. I was not going to have that, either!

So it farted out, which meant I had a decision to make since buying a new vacuum is not really in my budget .. electricity for the month or a new vacuum. Which one – which one. It was an incredibly hard decision to make, but in the end, I made the ultimate decision of getting a vacuum. I just gotta figure out how I’m going to make use of it in the dark *sigh*

Gladware

What is it with me?  I cannot stop buying disposable Tupperware, preferably “Gladware”.  Just when I thought I had it under control, and all my tuppies are in order – I see they have Halloween Gladware available at Tar*get and Wal*mart.  Shit!  How am I going to recover from this addiction if they don’t stop coming out with cute designs.  I feel like a kid in a candy store when I get to that isle in the store.  I actually get a surge of excitement!  Adorable ghosts, pumpkins, and witches with different colored lids.  What could be better?

I hate it when I start out with PERFECT Gladware, and if I don’t take great CARE with it,  it gets discolored, or this kind of white crusty stuff on it.  If one of the kids throws it into the dishwasher with food bits in it, sometimes it becomes encrusted onto the Gladware and that means it has to be thrown away.  Even if it becomes to scratchy looking, it’s garbage.  It must be clean and CLEAR.  Why?  Well, it LOOKS dirty to me, That’s FUCKING WHY!!!

It makes me happy to open my cabinet and see all of my loverlies lined up and ready to go.  In all shapes and sizes with matching lids.  A lid is missing?  WHAT?  The container is banished to the garbage.  I cannot have an extra container laying around without its partner.  Why do I put so many into my shopping cart?  Well, what if there is a plastic shortage? 

  Does anyone else suffer with this?  When I saw the latest Halloween edition, I was piling it into my shopping cart like a mad woman, my son (11 yrs) said, “Wow, mom, do you really need all of that?  Didn’t you just buy some of that last week?”

Ugh, if he only knew the half of it!

~Bella

I need a life

Actual conversation with my mother today.

Mom: So what kind of fun and excitement did you get into last night? [Saturday night]

Me: Oh, not much. I cleaned and polished my washer and dryer.

Mom: Really.

Me: Yup. And the facing of the dishwasher.

Mom: Oooh, exciting.

Me: Yup. I know it. I’m gangsta to the core.

Mom: You need a life.

Me: *Makes a face behind her back*

She, BTW, went on a date and spent four and a half hours at the Burger King, sipping sodas. And I’m the one that needs a life.

:: :: :: Red :: :: ::

Computer whizzzz

My computer. It is mine. The husband and child might use it occasionally, but it is mine. And I keep it the way I want it to be kept. I organize it the way I want it to be. I purge what I want gone. I keep what I want to keep. The files are kept cleaned out, defragggged, organized just right, and anything I see that doesn’t belong gets tossed out. On a regular basis.

I don’t keep emails in the inboxes. They don’t belong there. If they’re keepers, they’ll get filed along with the others. Or they’re just deleted.

Pictures and music files are not to be kept on the computer – They take up space. That’s what they make flash drives for. I don’t want the memory used up on my computer.

Even the desktop is organized and clean of clutter. I have six icons on the desktop. No more, no less. Only six because those are used the most often, their homes are on the desktop.

Noone is allowed to change anything on my computer. Not the colors, not the font size, not the volume, nothing. I don’t even want the monitor moved. It is mine. It’s how I want it to be. It shall stay that way.

Got it? Good. Carry on.

:: :: :: Red :: :: ::

Erks me long time

Cupboards and drawers must always stay closed. I don’t want to see them open even a fraction of an inch. I don’t want them ajar . at . all.

And I don’t want to see anything poking out of them. No clothes, no towels, nothing. I like them clean looking so that means that whatever is in the cupboards and/or drawers, must be completely inside. No poking out. Ever.

:: :: :: Red :: :: ::

I hate that!

Why is it people can’t see when a tablecloth isn’t straight?

Are they blind? Can they not SEE that it’s not even all around? That it’s lower on one side than the other? I mean, how freaking hard is it to straighten the damned thing? One would think it’s brain surgery at times.

When I go to a restaurant, I’ll ask them to straighten it if it’s uneven. I don’t give a damn if they think I’ve been released on day leave, I’m the customer and I WILL have it the way I want it.

Here at home, when there’s one on the table, it’s even all the way around. Pity on the person who may pull it a bit as they leave the table and don’t rectify it!

If we use place mats instead, they must also be in line, not crooked and the knives and forks go ON them, not beside them. Woe is the unsuspecting soul who does it the wrong way!

Some may ask why I use a cloth if I find it so stressful. Cos it just looks better is why!

The other one that drives me nuts is the tea towel. I keep one on the handle of the oven door. It MUST be folded in half length ways, perfectly even along the side and EXACTLY the same level on the bottom once on the handle. It mus be even. Doesn’t matter what time of the day or night I walk into the kitchen, if it’s uneven, I straighten it.

Yes, even if it’s 2 o’clock in the morning and I’ve come out for a drink. Not that this scenario happens a lot. I normally make sure it’s right before I go to bed!

Your turn. What drives you nuts?

Cleanliness rocks my socks

 

I don’t trust any kind of cleaner that I can’t smell. Take the new Clorox Anywhere spray cleaner mumbojumbo. It’s like water. Water. It has no smell. No color. It’s like spraying water everywhere, and cleaning it off. How do you know for sure that it’s actually clean if you can’t smell the cleanliness?

I like the smell of cleaners. Wood polish, yes please! Windex, over here! Bleach, hells yes. Give me some bleach, and I’m a happy camper. I mop with bleach water. Always. Twice a week. No fail.

A few weeks ago, the daughter came home from being away at her dad’s for a week, and I had just finished mopping the kitchen and bathrooms.

Her: *sniffs around* What’s that smell, Ma?

Me: I just mopped.

Her: Yeah, but what’s the smell? *sniffs more*

Me: It’s bleach.

Her: *big sniffff* Mmm, Mama, it smells soooo goood!

Me: Yes, that’s called cleanliness.

Her: My dad’s house doesn’t smell like cleanliness.

Me: *my heart bursted wide open, smiling from within* No, huh?

Her: No, that’s why I like living here.

Me: Good answer.

:: :: :: Red :: :: ::

A little down time

Okay, so I threw my back out the other day causing me to be bed-ridden most of the weekend *ughhh!* which in turn made my house completely and totally unruly. It was a mess, noone picked up after themselves. The dishes were piling up. There were empty glasses in the living room. Dirty clothes were spewed everywhere. The dog was starving and becoming quickly dehydrated. I was not happy.

But then . . then, the husband decided he wanted “to help”. He did laundry. He cleaned the kitchen. He attempted to fold my towels. And he rearranged the bathroom towels. And he put dishes up where they don’t belong. And he folded my towels! And he swept the kitchen floor the wrong way. And he didn’t pick up the poop off the floor. And he folded the towels! And he left wet laundry in the washer. And he gave the dog too much water *yes, he can have TOO much* And and .. and he folded my towels!!!

I understand he was trying to help, but he wasn’t helping. Once I’m up and running again *which I’m hoping is tomorrow!!* I’ll have to redo everything. Until then I’ll just wince and cringe at everything he touches.

:: :: :: Red :: :: ::